Tempus Fugit
by crazy-ranger
Summary: Ivanova- Post sleeping in light, IM, Backstory to AU, Final chapter up.
1. Default Chapter

Tempus Fugit  
  
Ahem: time to Haiku  
  
First fic, be kind, Is first part only, More later, When inspiration fairy strikes, All belongs to jms, Not mine, Thanking ooo, Crazy_ranger  
  
"I love you," He murmured in simplicity.  
  
Marcus felt the life being pulled from under his skin, out of veins his and his body, and into her. It hurt. It hurt like hell. It kept building and building of pain into agony. If he could of moved he would have shut the machine down. If he could of found breath he would of screamed for mercy. Nothing. Just pain and the world turning black.  
  
The darkness engulfed him. Reminded him he was alone. He couldn't feel his hand resting on Susan's anymore. She probably didn't even know he was there. He barely knew himself.  
  
The pain grew again. He was going to die. That much was certain. He couldn't be in this much pain and live. Any small hope of being saved was now gone. Marcus didn't believe in miracles. Miracles couldn't happen- could they? Every action had a consequence- especially today.  
  
His mind raced. Turning over probabilities and possibilities with his life rapidly running short. Edging towards his demise relentlessly. Oh God, he was too young to die. He always thought he'd make it to forty at least. Maybe keel over and have a coronary from the stress of trying to figure out how to keep the company afloat. He never wanted to be a hero. He didn't believe in cowardice or heroism. Just self-preservation. Besides, heroes always had bad endings. He fully realized he was heading to one when he found himself completely paralyzed.  
  
He couldn't breathe. His lungs were frozen in agony. Marcus panicked. He didn't want to die. Not alone. Not like this. But he was out of time- and out of air. Susan was gonna hate him when she woke up. Selfish bastard leaving her alone with life energy that wasn't rightly hers. Did she even know why he'd done it? Why didn't he think of this before?  
  
*********************************************************** "Damn."  
  
Again. Susan hated starting the day like this.  
  
That dream again. The one where she heard Marcus, just before he died. Susan hated that dream. Every time it was so intense. So real, as were the tears on her face when she woke. This was the fourth time in as many nights she had that damned dream. She'd be thrown by it for the entire day.  
  
She rolled over and almost out of bed.  
  
Damn narrow Minbari beds! She was the head of the rangers- shouldn't that at least entail a decent sized bed? At least it wasn't slanting at the traditional 45-degree angle. She made it abundantly clear when she took the position, that her bed was to remain horizontal, or she would not remain in her position.  
  
Well it was better than being a desk jockey back in Geneva. That was a recurring nightmare; paperwork, photo opportunities, speech making, dinners with more brass than brains. Urgh. At least here the conversation went beyond "During the Minbari war." The look on the joint chiefs faces when she quit earth force, it was something that still made her smile sadistically now. They'd put so much effort into making her a hero, for her to turn around and join their biggest recruitment rivals was eternally satisfying to her. She never thought she'd have taken so much glee in quitting.  
  
But to be honest she was just as lonely here as she'd been at home. Yes there was always someone to talk to, but no one who she could spa with in an affectionate way. Well perhaps David when he visited, he had inherited his fathers' sense of humour-, which to the Minbari made him odd. But he was around so little of the time, and the days seemed to fall one into another.  
  
It was still dark outside; the imminent dawn was in preparation. Delenn would be up, but Susan never disturbed her during the sunrise. Since John's death it had become ritual. Perhaps it was Delenns' way of reminding herself that there are always new beginnings.  
  
Climbing out of bed, Susan made her way over to the window and looked out. Soon the first rays of sunlight would illuminate the city over the ridge. The light would reflect and bounce between the crystal spires thousands of times over.  
  
She cast her mind back to the saying about Tusanor: "That to dream in the city of sorrows is to dream of a better future". Who said that? Did Jeff tell her that one? No. It was after that. She was being encouraged to visit Minbar in the conversation, she'd told him he'd missed his calling and should have been a travel agent. The reply had been. "Well bugger you then!"  
  
Marcus. Only he'd dare speak to her like that. If only he could be here now- standing there swearing. She remembered the look in his eyes when he told her about Tusanor. It was the same deliciously childlike look of wonder he got when talking about his Arthurian legends. He had thrived on that kind of thing. Poetic crap about building the future. God, she was getting cynical.  
  
"That to dream in the city of sorrows is to dream of a better future." If that's true, She thought critically, why do I keep dreaming about the past?  
  
***********************************************************  
  
Relann checked her timepiece, re arranged the desk for the fourth time that morning, then paced over to the door and back again. The Entil'Zha was late again. She was often not punctual, which of course Relann would not dream of complaining about. However it did make great inconvenience for those wishing to see the en'til'zha, whom Relann was often the butt of their complaints. Today was no exception, and Relanns infinite patience was not as infinite as it previously had been. Checking her timepiece again, she went to face the crowd.  
  
Outside of the office sat three senior rangers, half a dozen recruits and a delegation from the drazi to discuss establishing another training camp in their territory. The rangers stood as they saw Ivanovas' young aide moving swiftly towards them. She was, pretty, not overly tall but helpful as often as possible.  
  
Approaching cautiously, Relann knew she must be tactful. She quickly bowed to each group in turn.  
  
"Excuse me, but the Entil'zha is. otherwise engaged in important meetings with the alliance. Not that any of the meetings she has scheduled with you are any less important. If you please wait a short while longer I'm sure that I will be able to deal with any requests or queries you may have."  
  
Relann bowed again and waited a moment for the reaction. The Drazi complained immediately, the recruits shuffled their feet in nervousness, the other rangers merely sat back accepting this with no questions.  
  
Relann walked away quickly promising to pay penance for her lie later. It may have been an honourable lie, but as of late there had been too many of them. The Entil' zha was not happy. In fact she seemed almost joyless at times to Relann. Valen said a soul without joy is a diminished soul.  
  
Stepping in the room quickly Relann did not notice Ivanova sitting at her desk with her face engulfed by her hands. Relann almost gave a startled jump when she saw her there.  
  
"How many of them are there?" Ivanova asked with almost indescribable disinterest. She really wasn't in the mood to be praised and revered. If she wanted that she'd of grown a couple of tentacles and posed as the centari god of passion.  
  
"A few," Relann replied nervously. "The Drazi delegation are." She searched for the best possible way to phrase it, "waiting with great anticipation to speak with the Entil'zha."  
  
Susan moved her hands from her face. Relann had been trained well in positive hyperbole. Unfortunately she was landed with the universe' greatest pessimist as a boss. "Oh well, how nice for them. It's a shame she's not looking forward to speaking with them." Susan gave an involuntary yawn.  
  
"If you are not feeling well I could say for them to return tomorrow." Relann added, noticing Ivanovas' sleep deprived face.  
  
Susan leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. It was tempting. But then Relann would know for sure that something was wrong. Relann was nice enough, helpful, kind, courteous, like most religious caste Minbari. She was also incredible at anticipating Ivanovas needs. Susan had thought of nicknaming her "Radar," but realized that a comment like that wouldn't work on the Minbari limited knowledge of earth popular culture. Especially that of the twentieth century.  
  
Sighing, she opened one eye lazily. "Sit down, your making me nervous," Susan mumbled. At least by talking to Relann she could kill a few minutes before making up her mind.  
  
"As you wish," Relann complied, sitting with her head slightly bowed. Ivanova sighed with slight exasperation. Why did a culture who were so advanced, drive it into their people that to make eye contact with a higher ranking individual was disrespectful? How in the hell were you supposed to hold a conversation?  
  
"Relann," She began. "You've been my aide for two years now, please don't bow your head to me."  
  
Slowly Relann looked up. She felt odd looking at the Entil'zha on an equal level. The Entil'zha had been of her people's warrior caste, which made Relann slightly uneasy. Relann was old enough to remember the civil war on Minbar, and had feared the warrior caste for much of her childhood.  
  
"So," Susan began, struggling to find a point of conversation, " How are your family?" Susan had met them at a rebirth ceremony last year.  
  
"Well, thank you Entil'zha," Relann replied quickly, curious as to why the Entil'zha was engaging in what the humans called 'small talk'.  
  
"Your brothers an acolyte to the grey council, isn't he?"  
  
"Yes, he was assigned to them a month ago.  
  
" You must be very proud." Ivanova smiled weakly.  
  
"Father is. Mother still thinks he could have been of much more service in the An'la shok." Relann paused. Then decided that in the current situation she must enquire.  
  
"Entil'zha," She began after taking an inaudible but deep breath, " You seem, preoccupied. As if your mind was elsewhere. I was curious as to if there was anything I could do?"  
  
Ivanova emitted a half laugh. " Is it really that obvious?"  
  
"In matters of the soul, we are taught when to attend, when to ask before we attend. Or when not to attend. I know that the first option would not be welcome, no matter the spirit in which it was intended, The latter, I have already tried. So I am left with the middle option."  
  
Not the Minbari soul crap again. They were nuts on it. That whole garbage about Jeff having Valens' soul was accounted for when he became Valen. No one else since had been proved to have a Minbari soul. Susan had written off souls with any idea of happiness.  
  
"So I have problems with my soul?" She replied, slightly biting her tongue. Relann had meant well even is she was spouting superstitious garbage.  
  
"All problems are connected with our souls." Relann slightly nodded her head. "However for you there is a particular phrase: Seh-li-sekal. In your language it translates to - soul sick."  
  
"Well," Ivanova sighed, "I suppose in a way, your right. I think my father had a better description for it- Insomnia."  
  
"You're not sleeping?" Relann tilted her head slightly as she spoke.  
  
"I sleep. But then I have these- odd dreams and I wake up and can't get back to sleep." Susan shifted in her chair with discomfort.  
  
"What do you dream of?"  
  
"Twenty five years ago." Susan volunteered more easily then she though she would have. "I keep dreaming about a friend of mine who died. I can hear him before he dies- what he thinks. He's in pain, and,"  
  
Susan stammered for a moment realizing the speed with which she was speaking. "He's terrified. Then, he goes and I wake up. I've seen him for the past four nights.and it haunts me all day."  
  
Relann looked sympathetic, as if pondering on what to say. Eventually Susan jumped in and broke the silence.  
  
"Look," She began. "Maybe I just need to tell someone about seeing him. Maybe he just wants me to talk to someone."  
  
Relann remained silent for a moment. Then folded her hands and began to speak. "You speak as though your friend still lives. Perhaps he does wish for you to express yourself. You think of him living, his soul is close to yours, which would account for why yours is often so far away."  
  
Susan smiled, shook her head and glanced downward. It always came back to souls. Always.  
  
"You're determined to make a convert of me Relann." Susan smiled at her aide.  
  
Relann smiled back warmly. For the moment she would drop the issue for more pressing matters. "Your appointments Entil'zha?"  
  
"Oh hell," Susan began. She shook her head, "Just tell them to go away, I eloped with a Pak'ma'ra, anything."  
  
"I shall tell them you will see them tomorrow." Relann replied moving her chair backward and standing.  
  
"Alright, if there's any urgent paperwork rush it over and I'll sign it." With those words hitting her ears, Relann bowed and left the room.  
  
Now all Susan had to do was get past the Drazi.  
  
***************************************************************  
  
Susan had lied about doing the urgent paperwork. It was piled outside her room. She wouldn't be able to sleep with it staring at her accusingly. She had enough trouble sleeping without guilt trips from stacks of paper.  
  
Cautiously, she rolled over in bed- being careful not to fall out. Why couldn't they make these beds a little wider?  
  
Susan exhaled, and closed her eyes. She was beginning to drift off when she heard something in the corridor outside. Her eyes flew open and she lay as still as possible, listening. It could be an assassin, after Delenn, or maybe even her. Susan listened to the window being opened cautiously, a body dropping lightly onto its feet, gentle footsteps along, one, two, three, four, then, -  
  
"Wahhhhhhrrr!" A high-pitched noise of pain came from the mouth of the would be assassin. At the same time the stack of unsigned paperwork crashed to the ground.  
  
" Saved by the bureaucracy, who'd a thought?" Susan mumbled to herself jumping out of bed and grabbing a ppg. By this time several rangers were moving quickly from their guard posts to the point of entry.  
  
Before they could arrive, the assassin less than subtly made an exit by crashing through the window it had taken so much effort to enter through quietly.  
  
Susan stepped into the corridor to see five rangers converged on the scene, all examining the window and fallen papers.  
  
A human ranger quickly turned to face her, "Entil'Zha, are you alright?"  
  
"I'm Okay." Susan replied quickly, "But what the hell was that and how did it get in here?"  
  
" I don't understand how it got through the security net." The ranger continued.  
  
"What is going on?" Delenns' voice semi-bellowed as she stepped into the hallway.  
  
"I think we just had an assassination attempt madam president," the ranger informed Delenn.  
  
"In Valens name," Delenn breathed. "Are you alright Susan?"  
  
"I'm fine," Ivanova assured her. "But I don't think I'll be sleeping much tonight."  
  
At that moment the Human rangers link went off. He answered it swiftly. "Report?" he enquired, aware that the two leaders were waiting for answers.  
  
"Nada." A voice came from the link. "Whatever it was it can sure pick itself up after a fall. We're sweeping the perimeter now."  
  
"I'm sorry," The ranger began. "But it looks like it got away."  
  
Ivanova and Delenn looked at each other, both feeling pangs of jeopardy.  
  
(Cue music)  
  
Enjoy did you? Feedback you can, More soon, check back, Like Yoda I sound.  
  
Crazy ranger.  
  
greenday_86_no_return@yahoo.com 


	2. The voice of revelation

greenday_86_no_return@yahoo.com  
  
tempus fugit- apply this to my rate of writing. Crazy ranger  
  
Many hails to jms (aka god) ***************************************************************  
  
David tapped the back of his hand with his index finger. He had rushed home from a patrolling mission on one of the moons of Minbar when he heard about the assassination attempt. Delenn had insisted she was fine, but thus far he was unable to see Susan. She had been in meetings all morning and was practicing the art of being un-seeable.  
  
David, now in his early twenties, was much like his father in build and height. He had also inherited the famous Sheridan smile. He briefly ran his hand through his dark hair and lightly touched his bone, the crown of his Minbari heritage.  
  
Relann, Susan's' aide had approached him three times and said that the meeting would be over soon, but patience was one thing that Ranger training had not helped David with. He paced a few times, then went over and entered the office un-invited. David had always been told by his father that Susan means perseverance.  
  
All eyes turned to David, this consisting of Susan who briefly smiled hello, Relann who looked up and then went on filing paperwork, and three rangers who glanced at him then snapped their heads back half way to whiplash.  
  
"I'm afraid that's all we know." Susan continued her briefing undisturbed by David.  
  
"It's not much of a trail Entil'Zha.," A human ranger began.  
  
"I know. But it's all we have to go on. Now when you find the assassin, I want him brought in for questioning. I'd like to know who he's working for."  
  
"Entil'Zha veni." The three rangers chorused in unison before bowing and exiting. Relann followed them out and gingerly closed the door behind her.  
  
Susan smiled tolerantly at David. "Y'know if this were earth force you'd be in real trouble."  
  
"If this were earth force I'd wonder what the Minbari were all doing here." David retorted quickly in voice similar to his father, but accent of his mother.  
  
Susan crossed the room and hugged him, which David welcomingly returned, grinning in a smile passed down from his father.  
  
She broke away and offered him a seat. He accepted and lapsed back informally, while Ivanova leaned on her desk.  
  
"Have you seen your mother?" Susan enquired, tilting her head slightly as she spoke.  
  
"I just saw Delenn, Yes." He sighed briefly. " I've been trying to see you for two hours."  
  
"Yeah sorry, chaos here at the moment." She replied raising her eyebrows. "Maybe I should clone myself and speed up efficiency."  
  
"Two of you? I think one's enough for this universe." David grinned cheekily before lapsing back into genuine concern. Neither spoke for a moment.  
  
"I suppose you heard." Susan asked.  
  
"Yes, it's given ISN something to report. All they've talked about recently is your new Earth presidents toupee." He smiled lightly.  
  
"Well, in the words of a good friend of mine, their not my government."  
  
David smiled again but lapsed back into silence. Finally he uttered in a voice not far beyond a whisper: "I was worried about you and Delenn."  
  
"You don't need to be. Your mother and I have been through much worse and come out unscathed." Susan insisted. Still it did not set David's' mind at ease.  
  
Susan yawned as she finished her sentence, which at the very least caused David to smile.  
  
" I thought I was gonna get sucked in there." He grinned childishly.  
  
"I can't sleep at the moment." Susan commented, now in serious tones. To be frank, she was exhausted. "It's just not happening."  
  
"C'mon, I'll walk you home." She was about to protest but was interrupted before she could begin. "Just to make sure you get there. If anything an assassin needs protecting from you."  
  
Susan ceased leaning on the desk and straightened. "You really are your fathers child."  
  
David smiled and stood, sweeping the creases from his clothes. "I've heard worse." He commented, almost complimented. ************************************************************  
  
Susan poked her meal with her fork lacking in appetite. The meal was bland, like most edible Minbari food. Bland and nutritious. David was explaining his latest escapades to Delenn, but Susan had not the ear for them tonight.  
  
"It was very embarrassing. I've never known a fighting pike to go off in someone's pocket before." David continued, not noticing Susan's disinterest.  
  
"Were you hurt?" Delenn inquired, not sure if she should be amused or upset.  
  
"No, but I needed a tailor. It went right through my clothes." He mimed with great emphasis, the action of the pike ripping his clothes.  
  
Susan suddenly laughed and smiled, causing David and Delenns attention to quickly shift to her.  
  
"What?" David asked.  
  
"Oh," She recomposed herself quickly. "I just remembered a prank Marcus told me about."  
  
"Prank?" Delenn asked, still finding gaps in her English vocabulary after all this time.  
  
"A practical joke." Susan informed, now realizing she had the attention of the whole table and thus began to explain her source of amusement in relation to David's anecdote.  
  
" You see, on earth we have April fools day." She began. "Marcus was on Minbar at the time visiting, reporting back to Sinclair. Marcus had been out done several times that morning. Oatmeal in his pockets, Sirens at three in the morning, all organized by Sinclair." Susan lifted her drink to her lips then feverishly continued. "So Marcus spring loaded a fighting pike. Sinclair was set to welcome some new recruits. A few moments before, Marcus slipped the pike into his pocket. Jeff gets up to make a welcoming speech in front of fifty recruits when the pike opens." She paused a moment to stop herself from laughing. "Tears his pants so badly they fall to the floor. Jeff's left standing in his underwear before the crowd."  
  
David laughed a little, and Delenn merely smiled.  
  
"That wasn't funny?" Susan asked, wondering why the lack of laughs.  
  
"Minbari humour." David quickly reminded her.  
  
"Of course, no physical embarrassment." She sighed at her disappointment in being able to entertain. "Well in human terms its very amusing."  
  
At that moment a female Minbari ranger, one of the house guards entered. Her face carried a look of urgency.  
  
"Entil'Zha. Madame President." She addressed each of them in turn. "We have the assassin."  
  
Susan stood quickly, pushing away her meal. "Where were they found?"  
  
"On the outskirts of the city. A very unusual alien." She commented with utmost seriousness.  
  
"Alright, I'll be along in a minute." Susan informed her. The ranger bowed and left quickly.  
  
David rose from the table, "You're going to talk to the assassin? Is that wise?" He enquired, concerned for Ivanovas welfare.  
  
Susan turned on her heel quickly. "I want to know who they're working for."  
  
****************************************************************** Susan walked briskly to the holding cells in the centre of Tusanor. On her left and a pace behind she was flanked by Relann, who despite her utmost respect for her Entil' Zha had insisted on joining her. Susan suspected David had put her up to it, she knew they were friends and perhaps more. Relann now carried not only her own, but Davids concern. "Entil'Zha, is this wise?" She voiced as they approached the correct room, which was guarded by a single human ranger.  
  
"Look," Susan began. "When somebody breaks into where I live and gets past five house guards, I'd like to know who they are, and why they're doing it."  
  
The Ranger stepped forward and bowed, which Ivanova nodded her head in reply to. "It keeps insisting to see you. I told it not to be so eager." He informed her crisply.  
  
"Don't worry," Susan assured him. "By the time I'm through it'll be eager to see me leave."  
  
With that the ranger opened the door to the cell and stepped inside before Ivanova. Relann remained outside and the door thudded loudly closed.  
  
It took Susan's eyes a few moments to adjust to the change of light in the cell. An alien was leaning over the table, it's shoulders slightly stooped. Suddenly. It pushed the chair it was sitting on backward and jumped in the air with joy.  
  
"Ah the one is here!" It screamed with pure delight." The one come to see Zathras! Zathras knew the one would come! Zathras very pleased to be seeing the one."  
  
Ivanova paused for a minute, trying to let her brain accept what was happening. After a few moments:  
  
"Zathras!" She exclaimed at the rodent like alien. "What the hell are you doing here? And why did you try to break into my house?" She demanded, wanting to know why an alien she knew so little about, but would implicitly trust would try to see her in such an unorthodox method.  
  
"You know him?" The ranger asked incredulously, his eyes widening.  
  
"Yes." Susan replied bluntly. "And I imagine his being here is very important."  
  
"Yes, what Zathras has to say is very important." Zathras nodded his head vigorously.  
  
Susan paused for a moment. Why was he here? What was so important? Susan walked back over towards the ranger and lowered her voice. "Could you step outside?"  
  
The ranger was about to protest against leaving her alone with a potentially hostile alien when she insisted that, "He's harmless." The ranger still looked at the Enti'Zha with skepticism. "If you're not used to him the syntax will drive you nuts." She finally added, hoping that this ranger would understand.  
  
With great reluctance he left, hoping that Ranger one knew what she was doing.  
  
As the door closed Susan turned back to the Zathras. He looked slightly aged, and as he recognized her, was possibly the Zathras she had met when she had visited the great machine. "Why didn't you just come and see me?" She asked, sitting at the table.  
  
Zathras clicked is teeth for a moment and began to explain. "Zathras couldn't."  
  
Ivanova looked at him squarely, as if to say that was not enough.  
  
"Draal tell Zathras not to be seen, so Zathras is not seen. But Zathras fall over pile of paper someone leave. Draal, want to send the one a message, so Draal send Zathras."  
  
That made sense, as much as Zathras did make sense. If Draal had to send a vital message, it would be with one of the Zathrases.Zathrai? Or Zathras, or whatever they where in plural form.  
  
"And the message is." She gestured her hand forward for him to continue.  
  
"That universe is not right." He announced.  
  
"That's it?" Susan asked a tad incredulously. Since when had the universe ever been right? And what the hell was she supposed to do? "Well. what do I have to do with that?"  
  
"Zathras not know." He sighed, finding as much logic in this as she did. "Zathras just sent to tell the one, the one must save the one." He paused a moment in thought. "No wait, you must save the one. No, you are the one." He paused again to try to see if there was any of salvaging his last few sentences. He resigned, shook his head and shut up with: "Oh Zathras confoozed."  
  
Susan considered the sparse information Zathras had given her. "So, by saving one person, the universe is put right?" She asked with wide eyes.  
  
"Yes. Draal tell Zathras, to bring the one back with him to great machine. Draal will tell the one more. More than Zathras can explain."  
  
***************************************************************** Susan tossed and turned in bed. She couldn't sleep again. This was getting beyond insomnia. The bed was ok, the temperature was fine, but her mind was plagued with so many thoughts her brain wouldn't shut down. God she was so tired.  
  
Eventually she gave up and rose out of bed, believing that maybe standing for a few moments could render her somewhat more tired. Folding her arms and raising her shoulders slightly, she walked over to the window. She stared out the window into the night sky. The sky was clear and full of stars. She inhaled and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, there were stars all around her.  
  
She was no longer on Minbar; she was standing in the observation dome on B5. Her brain tiredly refused to acknowledge what appeared to be happening. She didn't realize the change until a voice stirred her.  
  
"It always leads back here, doesn't it?"  
  
The voice rang in her ears, low, masculine. Familiar. Realizing the sudden change, she turned sharply on her heel. There, on the other side of the dome, stood Marcus, appearing as living as the day she met him.  
  
"Marcus," she murmured in confusion looking around. "What's going on? What is this?"  
  
"You tell me." He commented stepping forward and folding his arms. Then he smiled lightly and spoke. " I personally have three ideas, you're hallucinating from lack of sleep, you've gone completely mad, or, this is a residual piece of my consciousness' left over from the alien healing device. Take your pick." He added staring back out at the stars.  
  
"What am I doing back here?" Susan asked, finding her eyes also drawn to the stars. He was standing so close she could almost feel his breath.  
  
"Finding a parallel to your situation now. Was it so different when we where here?" His voice seemed to echo and suddenly the room changed again. Now she knew where she was, or more accurately, when she was.  
  
"I can't do this." She heard her younger self say. "How do I hold them together? Delenn's gone to pieces, Sheridan are Kosh are dead, Garibaldi's missing and the league's split up. What can I do against the entire Galaxy?" Susan's younger self wept for a moment, before hauling herself together. "I wish this hadn't fallen on me."  
  
Marcus raised his head from thought, as if he had been trying to conjure up something comforting to say. "If not you, then who?" He asked objectively. "Sheridan had faith in you, he knew what you can do, even if you don't." He stepped beside her, almost unsure if his proximity would be too much. "Faith in others is easy, faith in yourself is difficult, especially when you go it alone."  
  
Marcus gently raised his hand, and touched her shoulder in a gesture of comfort.  
  
"But you'll never have that problem."  
  
Her younger self faded away and Susan sat on the floor, resigned.  
  
"I don't even know what Draal wants with me. How can one person change the universe, and how can I be involved?"  
  
Marcus sat beside her, his clothes flowing on the floor. "Draal has his reasons. Even if you don't."  
  
Ivanova turned to look at him. He wasn't real. He was twenty-five years dead. "Why are you here Marcus?" She breathed out.  
  
"Why are you?" he retorted, his green eyes so vivid. So close.  
  
"I don't know." Susan replied rubbing her eyes then standing. "I don't know anything anymore. I'm so tired of everything."  
  
Marcus stood behind her, and lay his hands on her shoulders. "Then sleep."  
  
The dome seemed to fade away, Susan was back on Minbar- but he remained.  
  
She walked over to the bed, away from his hands, and laid herself down. Her eyes darted back to the other side of the room, where Marcus still stood. "Will I see you again?" She asked, not wanting to let go of whatever this was.  
  
"Sleep." He simply replied. He could do nothing else.  
  
Susan closed her eyes. She was so tired; she didn't want to let go. "Will you go again?" She whispered, almost sleeping  
  
"I was never gone." **************************************************************  
  
Susan was awake again by five the next morning, despite that being the best nights sleep she'd had for a lengthy period of time. She could find no explanation for last night, but the voice of Marcus still rang in her ears for several hours after she awoke.  
  
She had thought long and hard about what Zathras had said. She had made a decision, but as she had learned in life, plans often never proceeded exactly as they are intended.  
  
Relann had noticed Ivanovas odd mood the moment she had emerged from the cell with Zathras. Relann had undoubtedly reported back to David and Delenn and would probably be keeping a close eye on Ivanova. This would only enhance the difficulties, however well intended Relanns actions were.  
  
Susan sighed heavily. If she were to make a break for it, it would have to be soon. She couldn't tell anyone where she was going, or what she was going to do. The former for the impression of utmost secrecy Draal had given her via Zathras, and the latter because she had next to no idea what would be required of her. But she couldn't leave without talking to someone. Someone had to know she was alright.  
  
*************************************************************** After half an hours work of re-patching and waiting, the stellar-com logo finally blinked off and was replaced by the tired face of Stephen Franklin. Damn, she'd woken him.  
  
"Susan!" He smiled cheerfully with an overtone of grogginess in his voice.  
  
"Stephen," She half murmured, momentarily forgetting what she had planned to say. "I'm sorry," She finally stammered. "I forgot about the time difference."  
  
"No it's fine," he insisted. "I've been meaning to call you, just couldn't find a spare minute."  
  
Susan smiled, knowing Stephens workaholic tendencies. "Still working hard?"  
  
"They want me to retire," he snorted at the very idea. "I heard about the assassination attempt on ISN, is everything O.K?"  
  
Ivanova should have known he'd change the subject onto her. How could she even think about a feasible lie about the situation? Maybe it was best not to. "Yeah, everything's fine," she splurted out much too fast.  
  
"Well, good." Stephen replied hesitantly, he may be onto something being wrong. Damn.  
  
"Look, erm," Susan began. "I haven't got long before I go to work, I just wanted to say hi, speak to someone in English for a change."  
  
Stephen hesitated, then chuckled as if dismissing any suspicious thoughts he had. "I'll just be glad you didn't call me to speak Russian."  
  
Susan had problems smiling, but forced herself. She couldn't break down. Not now. She couldn't let him know this was goodbye. Say something, quickly. "If you see Michael, say hi from me."  
  
"Will do." Stephen yawned.  
  
"Take care."  
  
The screen went black, then back to stellar-com. For a moment, Susan wept.  
  
************************************************************* Relann watched the Entil'Zha and the odd alien walk briskly away from the compound. For a moment, she considered informing David, but her loyalties lay with the Entil'Zha. As she lost sight of Ivanova in the darkness of the dawn, Relann had the strangest feeling she would not see her again. 


	3. The shadow of corruption

apologies for lateness!! Busy life!!! tempus fugit- apply this to my rate of writing. Crazy ranger  
  
Many hails to jms (aka god)- all is his – even David Martell (Legend of the rangers- LOTR- Lord of the rings – coincidence?).  
  
The small ship shuddered as it leapt with grace through the jump gate. There was a gap in Epsilon Iridani, at least in Susan's mind there was, a smoking great hole where a city in space once was. It caught her breath in the back of her throat with a silent gasp, almost unexpectedly at the stations absence.  
Zathras mindless chatter was now background noise, she no longer heard him. Just the sound of her blood pumping in her veins.  
Out of the corner of her eye, Ivanova saw Zathras playing with something. Her head shifted to see what it was, as soon as her eyes made contact with the object she snatched it back. She didn't care that she creased the paper, just that she held it for a moment. After keeping hold of this scrap for so long, how could she of had her attention pulled so far that she dropped it?  
Zathras was taken aback. "Sorry," he splurted out with urgency. "The one dropped this..."  
  
"It's alright," she murmured before looking up and making eye contact. "It's just very personal."  
  
Zathras nodded with little understanding, and Susan looked back out at the empty space.  
  
The rest of the journey was a quiet one. Zathras seemed upset at Ivanova snapping at him, whereas she was too involved in her own thoughts and feelings to hold a conversation. After almost an hour of silence, the planet loomed below, soon a fissure, Then a landing platform. The two landed without a word, five miles beneath the surface of Epsilon three, and soon began to make their way into the great halls of the great machine.  
  
Susan once again trod the familiar corridors of the great machine. Zathras walked a few paces behind her, his back hunched into an almost animal like pose. As they rounded the next corner, Ivanova caught sight of Draal (At least a holographic version of him) standing in a welcoming pose in the middle of the vast corridor. "Ah, Entil'Zha," He bowed his head. "Welcome once again to the great machine."  
  
"Thank you Draal," Susan also bowed slightly, remembering her Minbari etiquette.  
  
"And Zathras!" Draal suddenly cried clapping his hands together, startling them both. "Your brothers are asking after you. They have been difficult to keep in order as of late. "'Scuse Zathras," He began. "He must see to other Zathras. Must calm other Zathras down."  
  
"Be sure that you do!" Draal bellowed causing the already nervy Zathras to scurry off. Draal chuckled to himself for a moment. The Zathras always moved faster when intimidated.  
  
He turned back to Ivanova. "Nine of them you know. I sent you the wisest among them, now you know how I feel- only multiplied in my case."  
  
He smiled at her for a moment. He had not seen Ivanova for a considerable amount of years. She had aged- not only in her face and body. Gone was her blundering her way into the great machine with talk of surprises and paper cuts. Her youthful humour was long departed.  
  
"Well," He began again. You must be tired after your journey. Come, eat and meet the other Zathras."  
  
"Thank you." Susan smiled at him weakly. "I think I'd like that."  
  
Susan had to leave the room before she got a severe headache. The Zathras seemed more numerous than possible and noisy beyond belief. They all spoke in the same partly reversed syntax which required a few moments to translate in her head. The meal hadn't been bad, but for now Ivanova need some quiet.  
  
Soon after, Draal appeared to her again. "I'm sorry if I am interrupting." He announciated as her materialized beside her.  
  
"Not at all." She mumbled, overlooking a large cavern filled with incomprehensible machinery. After a moments silence she turned to Draal. "Thank you for your hospitality Draal, and I don't wish to seem impatient, but-  
  
"But why have I summoned you?" He finished her sentence for her. "I suppose you have been patient for long enough. Draal hesitated for a moment as if gathering his thoughts before breathing in deeply. He looked at Ivanova reluctantly.  
  
" I'm sorry but some of this may be unpleasant for you."  
  
Susan nodded her head, not particularly understanding but wishing that he'd explain the cause of her being sent for.  
  
Draal sighed and began, anounciating in his somewhat grandiose voice.  
  
"As you know several years ago, The earth government incorporated shadow technology into their ships. However, this was not a decision made by them alone."  
  
Susan turned her head, the shadow technology was still being used by Earth force today. She'd commanded a ship with shadow technology in it. The idea that the earth government had been manipulated into accepting shadow technology was a thought that had only skimmed across the outer recesses of her mind. Quickly her mind drifted back to Draal and his long awaited exposition.  
  
"The Drak- the servants of the shadows were able to manipulate time to a certain extent. They planted a ship on mars, for the humans to find and use. The first wave of these new class of ships were used against the white star fleet in your war of independence."  
  
She cast her mind back several years:  
  
Is that what I think it is?  
  
Confirmed, Marcus' voice barely reached her. The ships are using a semi- organic component.  
  
"Yeah, it was hell of a battle." She finally murmured.  
  
"Were you not nearly killed?" Draal enquired bluntly, as if he were sure on the answer already.  
  
"Yeah." She breathed. This all seemed incredibly odd to her. The dreams she'd been having, that particular battle...  
  
"The Drak knew they could only manipulate the timeline subtly, or they would risk damage to themselves. The Drak placed that ship for the earthers to find with one purpose: To create as many casualties in that battle as they possibly could." Draal continued, seemingly taking note of her reaction to his explanation.  
  
"The Drak knew someone on your side was involved in their near eradication, however subtly. Soon after this battle, the threat to them was eliminated."  
  
"Eliminated?" Susan echoed.  
  
Draal nodded his head, waiting a moment for the information to fully sink in before making his next move. "For the last eight years I have been placing all the pieces together." Using his mind and the great machine, Draal pulled up a hologramatic viewing device. On it was a picture of a young Centari woman, of high class by her dress and posture.  
  
"Tell me, do you recognize this young woman?"  
  
Susan looked carefully. She had met many Centari over the years, but did not recall this face. Finally she drew a blank.  
  
"No."  
  
"She is one of the most prominent Centari. She has helped to eradicate the remaining Drak and is personally a great friend and influence of Emperor Cotto."  
  
"At least she would have been." The picture faded from the screen and Draal turned back towards Ivanova.  
  
"Had she not died at twelve years of age. She was on the greater Laro colony when it was destroyed by the drak. At that point in time the temporal rift in sector 14 was blown open and I received a message- from myself. Or at least myself in the timeline that was meant to be taking place. The message was badly degraded and damaged, I placed as much of it together as I could. I have placed the following back together. The first past of the message comes from 12 hours before the colony was destroyed, The latter from a few weeks later."  
  
At that point an image appeared on the almost non-corporeal screen in front of Susan. The image was dark and degraded, but somehow she made out figures moving. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she found that these figures were rangers, moving through a Drak ship.  
  
In the final days of the Interstellar Alliance war with the Drak, the Drak would destroy all life on a ship on the verge of being captured, rather than let any information out. Gas would be dispersed throughout the ship, and all life would suffocate. These Rangers were looking for any signs of life after the Gas used had been dispersed.  
  
A female ranger moved forward out of the darkness, scanning behind panels for any hiding survivors. All at once, her scanner started to beep wildly. " Sir over here." She called out to her superior who rapidly made his way over. Between the two of them, they removed the panel and shined in a flash light. Immediately her superior, a well built human male, spotted a figure huddled in the dark.  
  
"Who's there?" He called out to the suspected Drak, who barely seemed to acknowledge they had been found.  
  
Quietly, from the darkness there came a voice. Weak and tired, but not yet resigned to surrender. " If this is another trick I wont fall for it!" The voice wavered but held its resolution. "Why don't you just kill me and get it over with?"  
  
The voice didn't sound like a Drak, it sounded human. But anything was possible. "This is David Martell. Show yourself." The Ranger in charge called out, still wary.  
  
The figure seemed to laugh for a moment, disbelieving it's predicament. "Oh very good, throw a name at me you pulled from my memory." Finally, it raised it's head toward the light and spat out: "Well, ITS NOT GONNA WORK!"  
  
David peered in, not sure if his ears had deceived him. His eyes confirmed the fact. "Marcus?" he called into the darkness.  
  
"STAY OUT OF MY HEAD!" Marcus screamed at no one in particular. His voice seemed to echo round between the bulkheads. He clutched at his temples, as if trying to grip reality.  
  
"Is he hallucinating?" The other Ranger asked David, unsure as how to react.  
  
David was distressed to witness this. He could of just knocked Marcus out and got him off the ship, but if he had any information it would be needed now. He sighed and shook his head. "He's probably so screwed over he doesn't know what's going on." David lent into the gap and spoke softly. "Marcus, this is David Martell. We were at Zagros 7 together. You saved all our lives- remember?"  
  
The only reply came in labored breathing. David turned to the other Ranger. "I've gotta go in there."  
  
The Ranger offered her PPG to David. He shook his head at her outstretched arm. "What if he's armed?" She asked.  
  
"He wont hurt me." David reassured her before entering the gap headfirst. As he crawled along he kept talking, trying to convince Marcus it was really him. He started by feeding him a small piece of trivia that only he would know.  
"Marcus, at Zagros 7, when the bombing started you got us all underground instead of back to the camp like moron suggested."  
  
Marcus raised his head slightly, then lent it against the wall. "Moron?"  
  
"You remember." David paused to allow Marcus time to recall. "Maraan. He'd of got us all killed for his Minbari honour." Marcus had invented that nickname for the unfortunate Minbari, and it had stuck. "But you believed in life and took charge when he died." David had reached him. He seemed to remember. "Look, I know the Drak try to screw you up mentally and physically, but you know me." Finally, David had reached him both in the physical and mental sense as he crouched beside him now. Marcus was slumped exhausted against the side, covered in dried blood- probably his own. His face was thin and pale and A large gash ran from his temple down his left cheek. Blankly, he stared past David. It was a moment before David realized.  
"You can't see me can you?"  
  
Marcus shook as he spoke, still unsure as to what to believe. "The Drak gassed out the ship."  
  
David knew the procedure the Drak went through when capture was imminent. A gas was dispersed throughout the ship. At first it would blind- temporarily or permanently was unknown. Then as escape was impossible, all life on the ship would suffocate. Somehow, Marcus had seen for long enough to get away from any air ducts and between the sections. Now, he was so weak if he were left any longer he wouldn't last. " We've come to take you home Marcus." David murmured reaching out and touching his shoulder.  
  
There was something Marcus was supposed to remember. Something he'd overheard. He was so weak he could barely support his own head. "David, the colony. They're gonna-" He was going to pass out.  
  
"What colony?" David asked leaning in to hear.  
  
"Their gonna blow it-"  
  
"What? What colony?" Marcus had got something important. At least it would all be for something if this ordeal saved lives. "Come on Marcus, don't pass out now. What colony?"  
  
"Greater Laro. Under the capital." He mumbled, knowing he couldn't hold on much longer.  
  
"Where abouts?" David asked softly, trying not to push him too far.  
  
"I can't re..." Marcus slumped his head against the side and gasped. His lungs hurt and didn't seem to work properly.  
  
"Try. Try and remember."  
  
"Under- a statue." It was all so hazy and distant. "Something to do with a statue."  
  
David quickly spoke into his link. " Do we have any ships near greater Laro?" He enquired to a subordinate left on the white star nearby.  
  
"Yes. One." The ranger replied quickly in a Minbari accent.  
  
"Encode this message to it: the Drak have placed a bomb in the catacombs under the statue of emperor Turhan. They intend to blow the colony."  
  
David turned back to Marcus, but he had given into the inevitable and was unconscious for some time.  
  
The image wavered and changed. The backdrop became an Earth Force hospital, sterile and deprived of colour. Susan saw two figures, one in bed, the other sitting beside them. As the image cleared, she recognized the former, and the latter. The latter being herself. The other was Marcus, recovering his ordeal with the Drak. His eyes were bandaged, and he seemed some how smaller. Starved of food and light, weighing almost nothing. His body appeared weak, fragile. But his spirit had not been broken by anything the Drak could of inflicted upon him, by no means of torture. But now, back in the safety of the alliance, the aftermath and consequences of his actions lay heavy on him.  
  
"There wasn't anything else you could have done. He was already gone Marcus." Her words seemed empty, and Marcus found no solace in them. In his mind, he had merely failed again.  
  
"I promised him we'd both get out. I promised him we'd be ok." He choked. He had fought so hard to keep them both alive, and had failed bitterly.  
  
"Marcus, you saved the colony." Susan whispered, placing her hand on his. "It's what he would have wanted."  
  
"I know. I know." He rasped, then shuddering, suppressed anguished sobs. " It's just I, I kept wishing that I could die because he would be the one to live and be the hero." He paused and inhaled twice, as if the first time hadn't given him enough air. "I kept wanting it to be over. For the pain to end. Then..." He gulped again mid sentence, craving oxygen. "I thought about you- and how we left things. About how I should have - gone after you." Marcus clenched his fist around hers, while gently she gripped back. He grimaced for a moment with pain of memory. "How I was so angry and almost hating you- but I couldn't." Despite his lack of vision, he rolled his head to face her. "I lived- so I could see you again." With a great effort he drew out his hand- searching in the darkness for her. His fingers shook as he guided it to touch Susan's' face. "So I could make it up to you."  
  
The screen dissipated, and Susan stood in shocked silence for a moment, trying to find comprehension or for her own words to have meaning. Finally, she shook her head lightly and mumbled one word: "How?"  
  
She turned to Draal and spoke louder, trying to string her words together coherently. "How could he be...Marcus is meant to be alive."  
  
Her legs didn't want to hold her anymore. Shakily, she sat down, still unable to fully comprehend what she had just witnessed.  
  
"It took me eight years to track down his connection in full. However, now I know what must be done to save this colony and to help eliminate the Drak threat." Draals words took moments to sink in. But their meaning was unclear.  
  
"You mean, when I was injured during the civil war- I was supposed to die." She was prepared to. Not just to save Marcus, but to save those people. For twenty five years her life had meant next to nothing. At least this way...  
  
" No. You heard him. He could not live through his ordeal without the thought of you."  
  
Ivanova thought for a moment. Her and Marcus had become a Paradox. For one to live, the other must die. They couldn't both survive. " Then how-"  
  
Draal took the liberty of interrupting her again, "We must manipulate the timeline for ourselves, for the good of all. And you are the only person I could ask to do it."  
  


* * *

  
Ouch! That hurt me writing that!!! Bloody exposition!!! Will have the fourth- and final part up within the next month. (Yes- I really mean that!).  
  
Thank you!  
  
Crazy ranger.  
  
greenday_86_no_return@yahoo.com 


	4. Ouroboros

"All you have to decide, is what to do with the time that is given to you."  
  
************************************************************* Susan sat in silence. Her decision was made. She knew what she must do- only finding the courage to stand up and walk away was difficult.  
  
Draal- or at least the holographic representation of him sat beside her. Any small gesture of comfort he could give her seemed irrelevant. She felt like a prisoner on death row- dead if she did, damned if she didn't.  
  
"I am sorry to have asked this of you," Draal finally spoke.  
  
Ivanova turned to him and sighed wearily. "I've faced certain death before, but to know you've been living for nothing is..." She trailed off. Her universe, her very existence lying in a million pieces.  
  
"You and I are very alike," Draal began. "I was lost in the universe, unchallenged. My greater peers and friends passed beyond. I was also ready to pass, until I was called to this place."  
  
Again he was silent. Words of comfort failing him. In these times, he always turned to the words of others:  
  
"To die for a cause is indeed noble, To live for one is far greater."  
  
She raised a smile and turned to him. "Who said that?"  
  
"Valen."  
  
Susan sighed deeply, then stood. Wordlessly, Draal passed a time stabiliser into her hands.  
  
**************************************************************  
  
Sector 14 loomed closer and closer. The instructions were to wait fifty or so kilometers outside until a specified time, when Draal would re-open the rift and she would pass through it. All the bases were covered. Her ship was now equipped with a time drive, because of its small size the stations censors could not detect it, this doubly determined by its Minbari design.  
  
How did Jeff manage it? How had he gone into the rift- knowing he would not return? How had he managed to keep it from them? Typical that Marcus had figured it out. Well even the surprise ending had eluded Marcus.  
  
Suddenly, a great beam of light flashed beside the ship from Epsilon 3.  
  
Ivanova inhaled deeply, about to take the plunge. Journeys end.  
  
*************************************************************  
  
His mind raced. Turning over probabilities and possibilities with his life rapidly running short. Edging towards his demise relentlessly. Oh God, he was too young to die. He always thought he'd make it to forty at least. Maybe keel over and have a coronary from the stress of trying to figure out how to keep the company afloat. He never wanted to be a hero. He didn't believe in cowardice or heroism. Just self-preservation. Besides, heroes always had bad endings. He fully realized he was heading to one when he found himself completely paralyzed.  
  
The ship had easily breached the hull of brown sector. If she'd had time she would have left a note for herself regarding hull integrity and the censor update the station was so badly in need of. Slipping through uneasy had just been too easy. Having an identic memory, Susan had remembered every access code for ever post she'd ever served on. Getting to med-lad had been easy. The hard part was to come. Entering Med-lab, Ivanova found the chaos Marcus had left in his wake. People and objects strewn across the floor in grief stricken and determined temper. For the most part the lights were dim, waiting for the onset of a peaceful death. "Lights," she commanded not realizing the volume of her own voice as it brushed against the walls in the darkness.  
  
Like an eclipse suddenly alleviated the light showered the room throughout, revealing two figures in what had previously been a dark corner. There she saw Marcus, slumped beside her younger self, and to her horror the healing device had already been activated.  
  
No. She couldn't have come so far to be too late.  
  
He couldn't breathe. His lungs were frozen in agony. Marcus panicked. He didn't want to die. Not alone. Not like this. But he was out of time- and out of air.  
  
Ivanova ripped the healing device from his wrist, bringing small areas of flesh with it.  
  
Marcus wasn't breathing.  
  
It was gone. The pain was gone. He still couldn't move but it had stopped.  
  
Susan's hand shot to his neck. His skin was still warm, and to her relief she found a single heartbeat.  
  
He heard a voice.  
  
"Don't die now you stupid son-of-a-bitch!"  
  
Nothing. Then another beat, but no breathing.  
  
"Breathe dammit!"  
  
Maybe it was time his luck changed.  
  
As she went to roll him over to try and resuscitate him, Susan saw his chest rise uneasily. He could have taken much air in, but he was breathing.  
  
The inability to pass out completely the healing device had given Marcus was fading quickly. He was going to live. Why didn't he think of this before?  
  
She checked his pulse again. It was there. It was irregular, and it was weak, but it was there. Her hand moved from his neck and brushed against his face.  
  
Susan turned back to her younger self. The effect the healing device had given her was seemingly leaking out of her. She grew weaker by the moment, spiraling back towards death. The older Ivanova reached into her pocket, the piece of paper was still there. It was identical to the paper that would be found on Marcus, except she had left her own message on the back.  
  
She placed the device around her wrist and felt its effects almost immediately. Within a few moments she collapsed from sheer intensity of pain.  
  
In a few minutes, the circle closed.  
  
**********************************************************  
  
Hope you liked, thanks for reading. Anyone wanna know what happens next? (Answer yes here) Good, glad to hear it! Cause one of the reasons this has taken so long is because I've been re-writing the fifth series (yes most of it!- told you I was crazy!—I could almost rival Wayne Rogers and Alan Alda rehearsing scenes they'd already shot!)  
  
It's kinda like JMS said it was suppoed to be like (if a certain actress hadn't dropped out no names mentioned)- Don't think it's gonna be all picnics and berries- we have harrowing Drama- lotsa spoo and the return of the Lumati ambasidor! Look out for Tempus Fugit: Rising Star (Hey- this is the only Season 4 one I'm doing!)  
  
Thank you!  
  
Crazy ranger.  
  
Comments, gripes and lawsuits to: greenday_86_no_return@yahoo.com 


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